But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
