at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
