if i died would you start the facebook group?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
