Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize