You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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