His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
