R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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