I want to make a zoo with you.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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