I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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