She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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