He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
