shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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