I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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