Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
