I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
