Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
