either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
