what day is it and did you see me today?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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