i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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