For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
