Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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