yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
No subtext here. People are naked.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
