I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
As shirtless as possible
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
