In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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