He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
