do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
