oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
