I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
