The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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