I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
