I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
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She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
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i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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