dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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