We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Is it penis luge time yet?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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