I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
