I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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