wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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