Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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