Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
