He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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