Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I need moral support for this bender
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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