I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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