drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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