We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing