Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box

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(720): View more from Colorado

i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them

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(510): View more from California

Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(231): View more from Michigan

Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.

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(360): View more from Washington

Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?

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