I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
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Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs