Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  did you hook up austin?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed

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  (269): did you hook up austin? (248): No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed http://tfl.nu/3mnz
  Replies (5) Good night (1030) Bad night (1525)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.

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  (816): Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm. http://tfl.nu/bk02
  Replies (6) Good night (2307) Bad night (1135)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.

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  (604): the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick. http://tfl.nu/jjwi
  Replies (27) Good night (6621) Bad night (766)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.

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  (318): Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions. http://tfl.nu/wfb6
  Replies (15) Good night (3644) Bad night (833)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.

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  (902): It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies. http://tfl.nu/tvv6
  Replies (79) Good night (7019) Bad night (1223)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."

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  (479): He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana." http://tfl.nu/t5zw
  Replies (35) Good night (1816) Bad night (4266)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  ...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.

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  (518): ...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified. http://tfl.nu/6dxz
  Replies (7) Good night (2427) Bad night (1155)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.

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  (817): My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give. http://tfl.nu/lewe
  Replies (11) Good night (4337) Bad night (947)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.

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  (403): My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind. http://tfl.nu/y5d8
  Replies (15) Good night (4196) Bad night (987)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.

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  (423): True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do. http://tfl.nu/f7pn
  Replies (2) Good night (784) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.

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  (720): Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate. http://tfl.nu/0wwt
  Replies (1) Good night (1067) Bad night (334)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  We have your weave and dirt in our room.

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  (508): We have your weave and dirt in our room. http://tfl.nu/h7mw
  Replies (3) Good night (346) Bad night (550)
• Favorite

  (418): View more from Quebec

  Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?

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  (418): Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me? http://tfl.nu/ltm0
  Replies (4) Good night (508) Bad night (650)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.

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  (641): I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs. http://tfl.nu/3u6a
  Replies (2) Good night (587) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted

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  (972): You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted http://tfl.nu/dlxv
  Replies (0) Good night (402) Bad night (153)

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