Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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