TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I enjoy the company of your penis
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
