He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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