Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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