So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize