I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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