ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
