im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
