Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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