Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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