hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
