i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
