hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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