i jhust puked up my retainher.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize