batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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