Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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