remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
