remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
