..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
