my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
