we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Just puked most of my soul out..
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