A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
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Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
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I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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