is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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